5 Things Not To Say To Expecting Women

5 Things Not To Say To Expecting Women

Pregnancy is a beautiful and challenging journey for many women. However, it can also be a time when they face unwanted comments, questions, and advice from others. Some of these remarks may seem harmless or even complimentary, but they can actually hurt, annoy, or stress out the pregnant person. Here are five things you should never say to a pregnant woman, and what to say instead.

1. “Wow, you’re so big/small!”

Commenting on a pregnant woman’s size is never a good idea. It can make her feel self-conscious, insecure, or worried about her baby’s health. Every woman’s body is different, and so is every pregnancy. There is no one right way to look when you’re expecting. Instead of focusing on her appearance, try complimenting her on something else, like her glowing skin, her cute outfit, or her positive attitude.

2. “Was it a surprise?”

Asking about the circumstances of a pregnancy can be very intrusive and insensitive. You never know what someone’s story is, or what they had to go through to conceive. Some pregnancies are planned, some are not, and some are the result of fertility treatments or adoption. Whatever the case, it’s none of your business unless the pregnant person chooses to share it with you. Instead of prying into her personal life, just express your happiness for her and her family.

3. “Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?”

This question may seem innocent, but it can imply that you have a preference or an expectation for the baby’s gender. It can also put pressure on the pregnant person to reveal their preference, or to justify their choice if they decide not to find out. The truth is, most expecting parents just want a healthy and happy baby, regardless of their gender. Instead of asking about the baby’s sex, ask about their name, their nursery, or their personality.

4. “You know, it’s really 10 months.”

Correcting a pregnant woman on how long her pregnancy lasts is not helpful or informative. It’s just annoying and patronizing. Most people use the term “nine months” as a general approximation, not as a precise calculation. Besides, every pregnancy is different, and some may last longer or shorter than others. Instead of lecturing her on the math, just ask her how she’s feeling, or offer to help her with anything she needs.

5. “Well, when I was pregnant…”

Sharing your own pregnancy stories can be a nice way to bond with a pregnant woman, but only if you do it in a respectful and supportive way. Don’t use your experience as a way to compare, judge, or give unsolicited advice. Remember that every pregnancy is unique, and what worked for you may not work for someone else. Instead of telling her what to do or what to expect, just listen to her and empathize with her.



Pregnancy is a time of joy, excitement, and anticipation for many women. However, it can also be a time of stress, discomfort, and frustration. The last thing a pregnant woman needs is to hear insensitive or inappropriate comments from others. That’s why it’s important to be mindful of what you say to a pregnant woman, and how you say it. You never know what she’s going through, or how your words may affect her.

A friend of mine once told me a story about how she was constantly bombarded with unwanted remarks when she was pregnant with her first child. People would comment on her size, her cravings, her mood, and even her sex life. She felt like she had no privacy, no dignity, and no control over her own body. She said she wished people would just leave her alone, or at least say something nice and supportive.

So, the next time you encounter a pregnant woman, whether it’s a friend, a family member, a colleague, or a stranger, think before you speak. Remember that she is a person, not a spectacle. Respect her boundaries, her choices, and her feelings. And if you’re not sure what to say, just say congratulations, or ask her how she’s doing. Trust me, she’ll appreciate it.



Back to blog